When I was anorexic, I used to hate looking in the mirror. I would literally rip off my clothes and run in and out of the shower as fast as I could just so I could avoid seeing myself naked in the mirror/shower for too long. I didn’t even look bad, but at the time my mind was so incredibly distorted … NOW? I stand in front of a mirror naked for 60 seconds every damn day just to remind myself; big or small, bloated or empty, fatigued or energized, this is my temple that provides to me and if I hate it then it is going to hate me back.
I don’t own a scale; I refuse to let a number validate how I should feel about myself. My validity comes from what I see in the mirror and internally. Am I giving my body the proper nutrients but also some sweets to experience pleasure? Am I allowing my body to recover from my last workout or should I rest today? Is my body feeling some type of way in which I need to tend to it?
THAT is my validity, taking the time to check in with myself and my well-being. Making sure I remain on track and love the shell that protects me.
I have been recovered from anorexia for well over 5 years now but I always remind myself that it is such an easy hole to fall back into and that taking a second or 60 just to check in within yourself can make the biggest difference in every aspect of your life.